Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Confidence, Nervousness and Fear
My exhibition is only three days away and I am going through a roller coaster of emotions.
When this first started as an idea by the gallery owner, I had great confidence in my ability to pull it off. Why not! I have been a photographic artist for over 25 years. This is what i have been asking for, what i have wanted. I can pull this off in spades and set the art world on it's head.
Confidence Meter on it's Highest Level.
Then the photo sessions. With each passing session I saw images that I really was proud that I produced, confidence meter still at high.
Once I decided that I had the images and had an exhibition, then came the printing process. As many of you who have read this blog know, that became an issue.
Confidence meter falling slightly.
Then I was rescued by McKenna Labs who saw the art in my images and help me complete this body of work.
Confidence meter back on high.
Then came the framing. (Thank you Frame Maker II of Feasterville for beautiful mats and frames!)
3 days of cuts, broken glass and second guessing.
Confidence meter falls to the nervous level.
I looked at them again, I think this was the first time I have looked at all of the images together as a completed collection.
Nervousness definitely has taken hold.
Then this morning I get what was supposed to be a very uplifting and supportive email from the gallery owner. Letting me know how much he has invested in this exhibition, how much it means, etc etc.
FEAR has taken hold.
I know I am an artist and without emotions there is no art. For those who know me I can get a weepy at a movie. But when it comes to my work I am pretty confident. OK except when it comes to a solo exhibition. My wife is fond of telling the story of my last solo exhibition where I was laying on the floor of our living room, an hour before the opening saying I wasn't going. I don't remember that happening, she says it's selective memory.
So, at this point we are 3 days, and 19 hours away from what I hope will be a successful exhibition.
How do you judge success? I'll save that for another post!
If you are interested in coming to the exhibition opening reception it is Saturday night, August 15th from 6 to 10ppm at the ArtHouse Lounge, 217 N. 2nd St. Harrisburg, PA For more information you can visit arthousehouse.com