Nothing Else Matters

Alone - we really are alone in this world. My wife and I are going through something that has and will forever change our lives. If you are a reader of this blog you know that my wonderful wife was diagnosed with breast cancer about a month ago.
Our friends have been wonderful with their well wishes and offers of support. But, when it comes down to it, when the night roles in and it's just us laying there trying to sleep, we are alone, together but alone.
But for us, there is strength in "Us". Together we can conquer and get through anything. When we are together, nothing else matters.
It's funny that about two weeks before we found out the news of her cancer, she came home and said that I had to hear this song by Metallica. She said it could be our song. We don't have a song, or anything like that. Our wedding was a Las Vegas, drive-thru wedding and I never really proposed. But from the day I saw her across crowded night club I fell for her. Now flash forward almost 12 years since that vision and all the love we have is all we really need to get through this.
With us, it seems, nothing else matters.

I am an incredibly cynical person with no religious belief. I believe that her strength combined with my love and a team of the best doctors on the east coast will get her through this battle and on the road to recovery.

So as I sit and write this, Metallica is playing in the background and I keep thinking that as long as she is in my life, nothing else matters.

Nothing Else Matters
So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters

My Visual Diary

I haven't written too much lately. The last few weeks have been a blur, full of emotion and anxiety.
Just about a month ago my wife felt a lump in her left breast. She has been through mammograms, an ultrasound and an MRI and the conclusion is that this small lump is breast cancer. My wife calls the lump her traitor mutant cells. This mutant, who measures about a centimeter in length, has totally changed our lives. Image less than 30 days ago we had a somewhat normal life and our biggest battle was how we felt the next morning after going to the gym. Now we are fighting breast cancer.
Breast cancer, even typing it still makes me weepy. On the bright side, this has been caught very early and my wife's prognosis is excellent. So we are extremely hopeful for a swift end to the traitor mutant cells.
In trying to deal with this, I have done my research on line and have tried to see what support there is out there for the spouse. I have to tell you their isn't shit out there for support, especially for someone like myself,who is not religious and in fact an Atheist.
So to help stay strong I have started a visual journal. This journal will document in some way our journey. I have always dealt with and expressed my feelings through my camera, so why stop now. My wife is allowing me to photograph this and I love her even more for it. If you are interested in seeing this journal please visit My Personal Gallery

Also, my wife has enrolled in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day walk for a cure. She has walked previously but the significance of the walk this year has drastically changed. I will also be involved working on the crew. We are participating in the walk in Washington DC, October 8-10. If you are interested in donating, please click the link below.

Thank you,

M.