Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Now What?

It has been one month since my exhibition, "Censor This!" opened in Harrisburg, PA. My images are now all safely tucked away in my climate control storage unit, hoping to see the light of day soon, either on some collectors wall or another exhibition. But as I sit here contemplating that exhibition, I am also wondering, "What's Next?".
So much time and effort was put into "Censor This!". And now that it is just a fond memory, I feel almost depressed. I was really pumped for the show. A solo exhibition in a gallery miles from my comfort zone, I was going to shock the world and make a name for myself. But now weeks after the show, the phone hasn't rung, no offers of another exhibition have come in and I am left with an almost empty feeling.
Is this what postpartum depression feels like? (For all you women out there I am NOT equating my exhibition with the wonder of child birth. The pains are totally different and I don't have to get up at 3am to breast feed.)
I find myself in a funk, a creative void, were I have ideas of what I want to shoot but am coming up with any excuse at all not to do it.
So now the search for another spark is on. My Red Chair Project is still on going (The Red Chair Project), but with it now starting it's second year of shooting I am asking myself why I started it in the first place.

So here I sit, in my office/studio, camera collecting dust, backgrounds all rolled up and wondering if I have anything left to say and if I need to actually find a job!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I believe there is always a period of depression after such an event. We build and work and work and build up to this ONE MOMENT IN TIME ...and then it is gone. I think of it more like a wedding. You plan and plan and plan then the day is over in a blink of an eye. What is left is the marriage...the princess turns into a wife, the limo turns back into a pumpkin... her gorgeous gown is now in the attic collecting dust.

You know it is only a matter of time. Time heals ALL. You do need to rest and wait for desire to return. It will. Patience and back to basics. Just enjoy life and creativity will return.

JOB? No way. Jobs suck!